Let's Try This Again!

"Welcome back, your dreams were your ticket out.
Welcome back to that same old place that you laughed about.
Well the names have all changed since you hung around,
But those dreams have remained and they’re turned around."

I'm back! I'm sorry I haven't posted a blog in a long time but I have good reason.

The reason for not posting, honestly, is I have been in the North Pole for many months doing research without any internet connection. Now, you may think there was no internet because it's the North Pole and there are no service providers for internet out there, which would be a good guess. However the actual reason is Mrs. Claus caught Santa looking at tons of porn and shut the damn service off. But I am back now home now! I have missed a lot while I was away with no internet --- do you know we have a black president! which I think is great, but right when I was happy thinking everything was cool I find out -- Miley Cyrus deleted her twitter account. WTF. What happened America? Where are our priorities? Celebrities can just stop twittering now, if they want!? That's f'd up. How am I going to know when Miley is "baking cookies" or "hanging around the house"? Huh?! Answer me that America! If this doesn't change, I'm leaving this damn country! Maybe I'll goto Alaska or something.

Either that story is true or the real reason is I have been lazy - who knows.

But hopefully I will be posting pretty regularly again if people want to read.

Thank you for reading and coming back to IAMCHRISVENTURA!

Comments are always appreciated, that way I know who came back to read the blog lol. Thanks guys!

Mayo Needs To Diet

I went to the grocery store yesterday and while I was in the mayonnaise aisle (yes an isle dedicated to only mayo!) I saw that Hellmann's offers a "light" mayo. Finally! Every diet I ever started I had to quit if I couldn't have mayo - it's a golden age in health! Anyway, my only question is --- who in the design department said, "Let's make our healthy mayo bottle shaped like a big fat person." I mean look at that thing! It's looks like the evil army of fat mayo bottles coming after you off the market shelf, trying to catch you while you run and run but its no hope!!!.... but who hasn't had that nightmare....right?

p.s.
About what I said before about the aisle being dedicated to mayo...I can't lie to you. It had other items also. I apologize.

"The Torpedo"

So I went to Quizno's today for lunch and I saw a new line up of subs they put on thier menu called the "Quizno Torpedo." it is much thinner than a traditional Quizno Sub and alittle longer than a foot long. I purchased the Turkey Club "Torpedo", and it was actually pretty good. It comes in the little paper pouch and push it up and eat it out of the pouch. Put it this way, if a freeze-pop had sex with a quiznos sub they would have birthed the "torpedo". ***


***NOTE: I do not indent this comment as an insult to the freezepop. If they did have sex I'm sure it would not have been some random one night stand. I'm sure they would have had to be in a loving relationship, I not saying freezepop is a whore or anything.... (except Blue Raspberry if shes reading this.)


Included is a picture from the Quiznos website. From what I gather this is the "angry torpedo mob" As a precaution I've locked all doors and windows - you should too.

Poster: "Where the Wild Things Are"

Continuing the movie poster theme...

This is a poster for the upcoming movie (based on the famous children's book), "Where the Wild Things Are" which doesn't look frightening at all...nope...well maybe alittle...ok maybe I'll be bringing a grownup with me, jeez.

Anyway I'm very disappointed because the poster is not informative at all, it doesn't tell me where even one wild thing is never mind multiple "wild things".

This I feel would be more helpful:

Much better.

"Is Anybody There" Poster

The movie's title is, "Is Anybody There" but is it me or does this look like "Michael Caine: Is anybody there?" Michael Caine is a great actor and all but I don't think the actor's name should be bigger than the movie's title.

On a side note I recently shot a movie called "Michael's Cane" the gripping drama of a man's relationship with his cane and the struggles he has when he comes home to find the cane wittled down to mere toothpick. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll leave the theatre before it's over. Compelling stuff.



(Yes, the first real post is about some movie poster starring Michael Caine. Random? Damn right.)